Update #5!

Hey Guys,
Okay, you can ignore update #4 now. Things are settling down again and I've pretty much finished dealing with those issues. I am having other non-love-life-related issues, though.
I can't think of anything more to write in either of my books. I've hit some serious road blocks before but not one like this. No matter what I do I can't think of anything to add to them and everything I've tried has turned into a mess. Do you think you could help? I'll post what crappy bits of my first book I have on here so you can see what I've got. Trust me, I know it sucks. I still have lots of editing to do, so don't make any really mean comments about my needing to edit. I already know.
Anywho, once I have it up, please send in some ideas as to what I can do with the plot. I can't stand that I'm not getting anywhere, so any ideas you have are accepted. (No matter how corny. Sometimes a little corny is good.) Thanks so much you guys! I love you all!

Yours Truly,
Me

P.S. Here's my e-mail for those of you that don't have it: cali_in_idaho at yahoo.com Just send your ideas or poem requests to that e-mail and I'll answer as soon as I can. Thanks again!
~Me~

Update #4! (Help?)

Hey guys,
I'm confused. I'm relaxing a bit, but I'm confused and unsure. I'm dating a guy, but before he asked me out, I was "friends with benefits(fwb)" with another guy I know. The guy I'm dating just asked me out yesterday, but I haven't told my fwb that I have a boyfriend yet; I dont know how to tell him. What should I do? I want to give my new bf a chance at me cuz he's an old friend and I can really be myself with him, but I don't want to hurt my fwb. The only thing I can think of right now is praying to get some answers. It's my best and only idea so far, so I'm going to go with that. I'm sure He will give me something to do to keep me from totally killing myself with questions and mixed desires. I'm going to go pray and listen to some mind-clearing music for a while. If you have anysuggestions as to what I should do, just comment this or e-mail me. You can find my email in past updates. Talk to you all when I'm feeling a bit more stable again.

Yours Truly,
Me

P.S. I'm putting my books on hold for a while until this whole thing clears up a bit. Once I can think straight again, I'll let you all know and get right back to work on those novels okay?
~Me~

Hell

I'm all alone.

There's no one left.

No one who would understand,

No one who would love me like you did.

I can't feel anything but this numbness.

I see nothing but blackness.

I hear nothing but a deafeningly lonely silence.

I can't taste anything.

Not like I have anything to taste in this abyss.

What is left for me?

I'm so lost and... empty.

I don't know how long I'll last

In this feeling of nothingness.

Maybe I'll just stay here.

I could do that.

I could do that and die here.

I could die like this all alone in this utter blackness.

It's not so bad really.

And it wouldn't be hard.

I could just stop.

Stop moving.

Stop breathing.

Stop being.

Stop noticing how terrifyingly alone I've become.

I could try to find a reason

To keep from doing that.

Maybe then the light will come back.

But there isn't anyone left for me.

The only ones who mattered are gone.

I guess I'll just leave.

Just like they did.

Goodbye black abyss.

Goodbye Hell.

Update #3!

Hey guys!
Alrighty, in my last update, I told I dropped one book and started another one, correct? Well, I've changed my mind once again. I'm going to continue with my old book. *cheers* However, I will continue to work on the more recent book as well. So far, I've gotten some stuff done, but I'm mostly editing what I already have.
I'm going to be adding some new poetry to my blog, so keep an eye out for anything you like and leave comments! If you have any requests, just e-mail me at: cali_in_idaho at yahoo.com Okay? If you would like to read a bit of my book so far (to be honest, it still needs a lot of work, but it's starting to get there) just let me know and I'll send you what you want.
Well, I have some stuff to do today, so I'll talk to you all later!

Yours Truly,
Me

You Know

The silence is my comfort. The darkness is my hiding place.

The blood that flows from these wounds drowns me slowly.

The water that is intermixing with the blood around me is from my tears.

I broke my vow. I've done it now. The lights are turning on.

I'm found in my hell, all comfort stolen by your questions.

I can't bear to have you look at me. There's so much I didn't want you to see.

I give you answers, vague as they may be, and cower inside myself.

Where is my eternity?!

My life will hold no purpose now... I've broken a very important vow...

You look at me with such disgust.

I say, "I'm sorry, I'd just never known such lust!"

I look down and you leave. I'm unable to move.

I can't hear anything, nor see, nor feel.

You know of my treacheries, of my broken vow.

Twice(Inspired by Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian)

To return to repeat is a fool's errand.
Nothing happens the same way twice.
To hear that one sees wilst you do not is not unheard of,
But nothing happens the same way twice.
To put lives at risk when it is unneccessary is just about as stupid as it gets.
Nothing happens the same way twice!
To understand what your future will hold, you must know:
Nothing happens the same way twice.

Void

The void in my chest it throbs so painfully.
It steals my breath and brings me to my knees.
The throbbing grows more painful each day.
I no longer breathe, I just lie here on the ground.
I dare not move for fear of the creature that has taken what I'm missing.
It lies in wait, hoping to see what it can take from me next.
It has stolen what I'm missing, but is still after my soul.
I don't know what this creature is, with it's red horns on it's head
And it's tail swishing impatiently from side to side.
This creature has stolen from many people who feel my suffering.
It has taken limbs, and organs, and many many souls.
But it cannot find a soul to fill it's own spiritual void.
The poor monster cannot find it's soul,
So it steals the souls of others to try and replace it.
It's body is complete, though in need of some repair,
But he lacks a spiritual essence of goodness.
The poor monster scares me, but he is just like me.
All he wants is God and acceptance. I cannot blame him for what he does.
For if you were in his position, would you not do the same?

Update #2!

Hey everybody!
Okay, so I wasn't liking at all how my last attempt at a bookwas going out so I ditched all 22 pages that I'd written and started on a new book. I'm on page 11, almost to 12. This one is also about a vampire. She's a isexual teenage vampire who's entering her sophomore year in highschool. (She was turned when she was 4.) Her name is Tala Rozene Gola which is some indian language meaning Wolf Rose Winter. SHe and her best friend Kellie Skoglund, a bisexual werewolf, start the story at practice when something strange comes flying over the field. It doesn't bother any of the students, but a few days later it returns with a friend and kidnaps both Kellie's new girlfriend Irene, and Tala's boyfriend Jacob also known as Jake. (Irene is on teh auxilary team with Kellie and Tala, Jake plays the trombone in the marching band.) From there they embark on a long and treacherous journey filled with dark encounters and danger. I haven't figured out quite yet exactly what will happen, but I'm getting there. I'm kind of planning as I type this here. So yeah, I no longer need any sites to look at for information on vampires or werewolves. I'm just doing my own thing and making up my own version of each myth. If you would like to submit any ideas or want to read a little of this new book, e-mail me at: cali_in_idaho at yahoo.com. Or look for me on youtube as I usually there trying to find music to listen to while I type. On youtube, look for prettygirl9784. just message me or watch a vid I created. It's the only one I have and I know it sucks, but oh well. Anyway, look me up and let me know what you're thinking. Thanks a bunch guys!

Yours Truly,
Me.

P.S. Also, before I forget, if you have a specific type of poem you want me to make for you, just e-mail me or message me. I take requests from everybody. Free of charge! lol! But yeah, just let me know and I'll get right on it. TTYL!
~Me~

Why Bother?

Who will listen to my questions?
Who will come up with the answers?
Who on this planet really would care
Whether or not I was here?

Nobody has anytime to listen,
So nobody has any answers.
I know only a few who really would care,
So tell me why I even bother.

If He Were Here...

If he were here
He'd tell me I was beautiful.
He'd say he'd never met anyone
As pretty as me.
If he were here
He'd tell me I was his queen of darkness;
His lady of the night.
He'd pick me up, spin me around,
Kiss me 'til I cried.
He'd love me and hold me until the morning light
When the sun came up
And I sadly fled for the night.