Sunday, December 14, 2008

Somebody (2)

Am I alone?
Or am I part of a crowd?
Am I a nameless face?
Or will someone call out?
Am I a shadow?
Or will I be seen?
Am I no one?
Or am I somebody?





Tips for helping you get over your problems.

B- breathe
A- and
T- talk.

C- create
A- a
P- place
O- of
P- peace.

to be continued...




Every moment,


Be calm.


R- rely on others,
E- especially when you're down.
S- stop worrying about tomorrow;
T- today isn't even done.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Killer Memories

Memories attacking me from every side.
Still no one sees these tears that I cry.
Hiding in shadows, howling at the moon.
Aching pains that never go away,
Brought to me by you.
Can't you see the misery?
I'm bleeding inside...
Still you will not answer me.
Right now I almost want to die...

Friday, November 28, 2008

Update #8!

Hey everyone.
Sorry about the long time, no posting. I haven't had many a good inspirations lately and can't make much out of what I am inspired to write about. I am trying though. Please send me some requests to help me get back on track and to give me some new topic ideas. Thanks a ton to all of you!

Yours Truly,

Sunday, November 23, 2008

First Rape, Then a Vampyre's Victim!

Quietly fading into the silence
No one can sense my pain.
I walk through the halls, and I'm here everyday,
But nobody knows I am dead.
The endless nights are torture;
The sunlight burns me away.
I laugh,
I sing,
I dance,
I scream
Just as if I were living,
Still nobody sees my pain.
My face shows nothing but smiles.
My head refuses to work.
My heart is gone.
My soul is lost.
I refuse to embrace sweet denial.
If only my end would come.
If only I no longer saw
The pulses and throats each day
As I am forced to live on.
Why on earth did this happen to me?
Why did that monster have to come?
I am sure that though my blood may have smelled pretty good,
I wasn't the only who could've died.
I'm a demon living with angels.
A whore sitting with virgins.
I don't undestand why this happened to me.
First rape, then a vampire's victim!


I stand in the shadows as you walk by.
The unseen victim, who will be your demise.
A soul lost to a world of torture and hate.
So cruelly punished by bloodstained Fates.
I took a few drops, and that's all that They need
To have a reason for murdering me.
So for this you shall pay, you seductive creature.
For stealing my heart and only making it blacker.
It was dark to begin with, cursed by Hell.
Now it's damned for sure to that bottomless well.
To that place where no soul can ever escape.
Where though attempts are made, it's too late to be saved.
So I'll kill you first and then myself.
I'll see you in Hell, you stone-hearted Wolf.


Joyful tears;
Heartfelt fears.
Monsters fighting left and right.
Dare I walk into the night?
Who is it that keeps stalking me?
Is it a Wolf? Or a horrid banshee?
I cannot tell, the night is too dark.
I stop for a moment in the center of the park.
A hand closes tightly onto my shoulder.
Stronger than a granite boulder.
A voice so low, I know it well.
Inside emotions begin to swell.
Old fires awaken at his touch,
New hatred burns as I remember much.
I scream and jump into the air.
Now he dares not follow me anywhere.
A vampyress when angry is not a joke.
I wanted to murder that stupid bloke.
He knows our time is over and done,
But still he thinks I have a heart to be won.

The End

The moon is rising, swift and full.
The night is howling like a Wolf.
Hearts are racing faster, faster.
Still we can't escape disaster.
Shattered pieces on the floor
Love we thought was meant to be
Is now forever
Never more.


Nobody knows my name,
Or even if I exist.
No one can tell for sure
If they've ever really seen me,
Or if they were just hallucinating.
But I like it this way.
I'm not nobody,
I'm still somebody.
But I'm the somebody
That nobody knows.
If anybody did know me,
I would still be somebody,
but I wouldn't be the somebody
That nobody knew anymore.
And if somebody knew me,
I couldn't just hide in the shadows
And wander peacefully through this limbo
Between life and the afterlife.
Then this existance wouldn't be any fun anymore...
Because I'd truly be dead.
Quite frankly, I think it's funt to be
The vampyre that nobody knows.


A kiss here.
A lick there.
Ecstatic gentle biting.
Moans and howls the only sounds
Hanging in the air.

On the grass.
In a bed.
Does it make much difference?
The moon is full
Werewolves are high
They don't care if they're raped by a succubus.

Hunters hiding in the night
Try to shoot her down
The Wolves so dumb
Protecting her
Just want to strip her down.

Innocence lost long ago,
She never feels guilt.
The ultimate deadly hooker
Who knows so many tricks.

Men just love to find her.
She's a wonderful one night stand.
Too bad they didn't know
They were fucking someone dead.

Sweet Dreams

Hidden by darkness, I watch her fall asleep.
She hasn't got a clue how close I am.
If I wanted to I could touch her now,
But all she'd do is scream.

Scream until her lover came to her.
Scream until he told her lies.
Scream until she had no tears left to cry.
Scream until the sun would rise.

But I only want to wish her well
I only want to listen to her breathe.
I just want to tell her that I love her...
I just want to wish her sweet dreams.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Y.O.U. L.I.A.R. (dedicated to an ex-friend)

Y-you aren't listening to me.
O-over and over you don't believe what I tell you.
U-under so much stress and facing so much drama, you feel you can't.

L-living has become so troublesome, you wonder why you continue.
I-I am so tired of all the crap we face from different angles.
A-are we ever going to be on the same side again?
R-remembering our history, I predict not.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Mine for a Moment

A hug.
A kiss.
A tender touch.
A walk in the dark.
An empty place.
A darkened room.
No words.
Just emotions.

A heavy silence.
Another kiss.
Then several more...
From sitting up to laying down.
From your lap to the floor.
Happily beneath you.

A caress.
A gasp.
A sigh.
A moan.
Another caress...

A spoken plea.
A gentle understanding.
That single word.
Then a movement so swift it's unseen.

You begin to walk away and leave.
You don't look back.
Panic strikes.
I'm flying over the ground to you.
You turn as I reach you and lift me into an embrace.

A look.
A second.
Then goodbye.
Mine for moment
Before the disaster strikes.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Update #7!

Hey everybody!
Big news! I now have a second blog! it's almost the exact same web address as my original poetry page, but instead of it being "prettygirl9784" it's "prettygirl9785".blogspot .com okay? If you want to read my book go there, cuz I'm taking down teh chapters I have up on this blog. I'm taking this one back to it's original purpose of being strictly a place for me to post my poetry. so yah, feel free to check it out if you want to raed what I have so far okay? I'll talk to you all later!

Yours Truly,


We sing.
We dance.
We long
For romance..........
This pain is killing me inside.
You laugh.
I love.
We hug goodbye.
A tear slips free,
Then you're holding me.
The time rolls by.
We watch the sky.
And then
We go
Our seperate ways tonight.
Mem'ries caress me to sleep.
The sun can simply not find me.
My heart lies dormant
Through the years to come,
But for this night,
I'm willing to cry..........

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Chocolate and Rain

It was late that night when I walked in the door.
He looked up at me and said,
"You smell of chocolate and rain.
Of Tears in a lonely place.
Of trees that sing to me of just how sad you are.
Please tell me why you came in so late?
Why there are tear lines streaking your face?
Baby, please don't close to me,
Just tell me what went on today
That left you smelling of chocolate and rain."

I could've just told him it all.
Of how I'd longed to fall
Off that cliff and into the stormy sea.
But the look in his eyes just kept me
From explaining the chocolate and rain.
The tears in a lonely place.
The trees that called to me and told me to go home.
I couldn't tell him why I was late.
Or what had brought me to that place
Where nothing matters except that I can die.
I couldn't tell him what went on today
That left me smelling of chocolate and rain.

He looked at me.
I looked at him.
And then I started to cry.
He took my hand; came up close to me.
He told me everything would be alright...
..."Because I am here. I won't let you down.
Baby, it's alright, I'd still love so
Even if you jumped into the sea.
Even if you weren't here standing with me.
Even if you wandered off to commit suicide.
It don't matter to me today,
But for one thing I'll pray:
That when you smell of chocolate and rain,
Of tears and a lonely place.
Of trees that tell me all I need to know,
I'll be standing there with you next to me.
I'll hold you still,and look in your eyes,
and tell you everything that I find.
But baby please........ just tell me."

Tonight I stayed in that lonely place......
Surrounded by memories and spirits left to hold me.
And again I smelt the chocolate and rain
From a long lost summer's day.....
I had been so ready to die
When he had said goodbye.....
With chocolates that he left sitting in the rain.........

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Update! #6 (this one is short)

Hey everybody,
I know I've only posted the first three chapters, but I need to get some more poetry up before my lack of current poetic activity kills me. So I am pausin gin the posting of my chapters, and you should see some new poetry up shortly. I love you all! Thanks so much!

Yours Truly,

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Fangs: Mine or Yours?: Chapter 3

Chapter 3
“Werewolf! Lupine!” She spat. Suddenly, she released his mind and turned heatedly to face him.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a Werewolf? What were you doing talking to me in the tavern? How many other wolves are there in the area?” She threw the question at him in rapid succession and probed is mind at the same time to find the answers. Dayton was in such a state of shock that he couldn’t stop her. He couldn’t say anything to her. He felt like such a complete fool. How had he let himself be discovered so easily? He had thought himself stronger than that.
Man, I’m such stupid puppy. The Alpha’s gonna kill me…
Layla Madison
I wanted to scream. To scream at him for being so desirable, for being a stupid Lupine, for tricking me into thinking he was human, for allowing me to lie about having sex with him after I drank from him. I wanted to scream at myself for being so ignorant to that underlying scent of fire and oak.
I feel like such a Childe. Such a stupid, inexperienced Childe.
Instead of screaming though, I threw my questions at him and roughly probed his shocked mind. I teleported from where I was to just in front of him and gripped his neck tightly.
“You didn’t tell me because you wanted to see if I was in need of being killed? To see if I could be allowed to live for not killing my food?” I stopped shrieking so quietly. I stood, silently fuming at his thoughts.
He was going to kill me if he found out I killed my food or if I tried to kill him just for fun? That bastard! Well, first let’s see how many other Wolves are in the area, then I’ll decide what way to kill him. Perhaps I could leave him tied up like a pretty present, dead and rotting on the Alpha’s doorstep...
I had still been probing his enfeebled mind while I was planning his death options and accidentally let him know my thoughts.
“I can hear… your mind.” Said Dayton weakly. “I know… you plan… to kill me… in some… gruesome… way. Ack!” He winced as I twisted his mind mercilessly.
“You can? Well, then I guess it’s all the easier for me to decide how you’ll die. Would you like to be eaten and have your rotting carcass left on your Alpha’s doorstep? Or would you prefer to be turned, forced to live like I do, in eternal darkness, for a year and then slaughtered like a lamb?” I grinned wildly at him, wickedly revealing bright, white fangs. He gasped in horror as the whites of my eyes turned a disturbing shade of blood red and my irises went from clearly-visible light brown, to pitch black.
“Why… kill me?” Dayton asked, trying to regain some control of the situation. To do that he would need some time and some serious regenerative repair. Werewolves can heal and regenerate quickly, but they need time for that nonetheless. Apparently not something he had much of right at the moment.
“You could… torture me for… eternity… instead… of just one…” he gasped hoarsely. “Year,” he finished.
“I could, but you’d be too much of a bother and the Elders would punish me for leaving the likes of an ignorant mutt like you alone and uncared for in their midst.” My still blood filled with adrenaline at the mention of the Elders. I had only met two of the current Elder residents of this place, but they were elusive and parent-like. They would not appreciate my leaving a Wolf-turned-Vampyre for them to look after. I closed my mind as the memories came flooding back.
The first Elder I met that first night while looking around in Wal-Mart to find some toothpaste and my favorite shampoo-and-conditioner set. He looked to be about twenty-one, had shoulder length black hair, and had an air of power about him. He had pulled me aside that night and asked me who I was, what I was doing in his territory, what House I was from, and how long I planned to stay. I had answered him calmly, but cautiously, being careful as I chose my words. Elders could take a misworded sentence wrong and would then have a right, in their mind, to kill you.
I had said, “My name is Layla Serynia Madison. I didn’t know that there was another House inhabiting this area. Please forgive my intrusion and my unannounced entrance to your hunting grounds. I am of the House of Paole. My clan ring is on the golden chain around my neck, hidden from proper view of Kine and lone, wandering Kindred who have no clan with which to partake membership. I don’t know how long I will be here. Presumably only as long as I am welcome, if I am welcome in your territory. Am I welcome here, Sir…?”
“My name is Sir Rodrigo Nincious. I am an Elder in your House, though few of you younglings know me. I, like you, keep my ring hidden from the view of Kine and wandering Kindred. They need not know who we are, or to what House we belong. If the mortals--the poor unaware Kine--were to see us walking around with similar rings, they would label us as part of a cult. Something I am completely against as an Elder. There are four other Elders in the Treasure Valley Territory, though only one of those is of our House. His name is one you should know of. Sir Nitus Vakearay?” Sir Nincious had replied.
“I have heard of Sir Vakearay. Many rumors were spoken of him in California. Um… Might I ask you something?” I said uncertainly
“Of course, little one. What is it you wish to ask?”
“ It’s about the rumors I heard, Elder Nincious.”
“Please, call me Rod. It makes the mortals think of me as younger than you might know me to be. Yes, you may ask, though I would advise you to ask Elder Vakearay about it, as it is not my place to speak about another Elder. Nor is it polite to speak behind the back of a friend.” He smiled down at me. Everyone seemed to be taller than me! And his smile was beginning to make me feel like a child. I held back a small growl.
His whispered words of trying to appear far younger than he was, were amusing; for the way he spoke and the way he acted, made him appear much older than he looked. Even when he wasn’t trying to appear younger, he looked it, but acted like a friendly gentleman of around thirty years old.
Unexpectedly, his smile faded. He said, “I must warn you, youngling, there are a few Bathory House members in the Treasure Valley Territory. We share the territory with them to keep the peace between our clans, as well as with an Elder of the Dracul clan. Be careful to try and stay out of the Greenleaf area after sundown. The Elders of the Bathory House that reside there do not respect the peace we have created between ourselves and their younglings. They rather resent it and will hunt us if we enter Greenleaf unannounced and uninvited. You must be cautious. If not, we cold lose you to their monstrous ways. Promise me you will heed this warning.” He demanded.
I stood there for a moment silently letting a mortal walk by before answering. She looked at us funny. She probably thought we were dating or something and thought that I was too young for him. She had no idea.
“I promise on the House of Paole that I will heed thy warning, uh, Rod.”
“One last thing before we must part, Layla.” He had grabbed my arm as I started turning away to leave. “If you encounter any Werewolves, you are to leave them alone at all costs. They should not harm you unless you attack them first, though I doubt you would. They were here in the Treasure Valley before our kind, so we must respect the laws they have about feeding. You may not kill your meal, nor may you leave them harmed and/or abandoned on the site of feeding. If you do, the Wolves will tell us of your crimes and hunt you in pack patrols; they will also allow us to try and plead for your side of things, but if they are unconvinced, you will die. They have done this before. It was a Childe that happened to kill one of their newly turned pups. That Childe died the same night as his prey. You should’ve known him, you’re cousin Blake?” Rod had asked.
“I believe that is family business, but yes, I knew of him and his death. Further discussion of the matter is best left for more private places, don’t you think?” I replied politely, with an undertone of grief. I’d been very close to my cousin and didn‘t like discussing the topic of his death…
My memories were ripped away by the voice of the mutt I held in an inhuman grasp.
“I… can’t… breathe!” Dayton sputtered. I loosened my hold on his neck. I was not happy, in fact I was very, very pissed off, but I couldn’t do anything to hurt this man, mutt, thing, no matter how much I wanted to. I’d die if I killed him.
I shoved him away roughly and told him menacingly, “You don’t know anything of me. You know nothing from the time we met, or of this place. You have no recollection of any of the thoughts I shared with you. You don’t know I exist. Now get out of here and go home.” Then I had a thought. I might as well have a slight snack, since this bastard is here.
“Hold up a minute, honey.” I called to him as he went for the door. “You know nothing of what I’m about to do either…” I took him into a hug and felt his skin give beneath my fangs. He was so tasty, I didn’t want to stop. Before I could get more than a few drops though, he groaned and turned the tables on me. Aw, shoot! I screamed in my head, the thought closed to his mind. shoot! shoot! shoot!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fangs: Mine or Yours?: Chapter 2

Chapter 2
Tom Zicoff

Tom hadn’t been sitting down in Huck Finn’s Tavern for more than a half an hour when his groin started aching like crazy.
What the heck! It was only just starting to relax a little and now it’s actin’ up like I’m screwing another Vampyre and I don’t even know it, he thought half maliciously to himself as he tried to keep from groaning in pain. He also forced himself to refrain from hooting at the sexy looking goth that had just walked in the door. She had long blonde hair, and looked like a perfectly normal snack, when he noticed his groin had quit twisting in agony.
“No way,” he muttered when he started a little.
How could she be a Vampyre? Her smile looks forced, so maybe she’s experiencing some killer pain because I’m here. His thoughts were interrupted by the very being they were about. She smiled at him politely, lost some color in her face for a split second, then regained her composure and turned around to survey the room. Lookin’ for dinner, sweetie? He asker her silently. I’ve already got mine.
Huck Finn’s isn’t much. The only places the customers see are the large thirty by thirty by twelve main room and a hallway leading to the restrooms. The hallway is to the right on the back wall. When you walk through the front entrance, you are facing the dance floor and the hallway is positioned behind it. There aren’t usually too many people actually dancing, but plenty of people milling about with their friends and other people. Huck Finn’s was a favorite of the local outcasts and singles, and tonight the place was packed.
If you looked to the left upon entering, you’ll see a restaurant attempt made by the owner a few years back. There are several booths against the wall and multiple tables that take up about a quarter of the room. Much to the owner’s disappointment, the restaurant never really took off and the tables have been there ever since. Many people use them to just lounge around or to rest their feet.
The dance floor itself takes up about half of the room, and is in the very middle of Huck Finn’s Tavern. The last quarter of the room is taken up by the bar on the right side of the room. If you stand facing the bar, to the far right there is a staircase leading up to a few guestrooms where customers can rent a room for a night or two. Each room has a two beds and a small bathroom.
Tom idly let his mind go over the layout of the room. From where he sat, he curiously watched the Vampyre girl until he noticed the huge Werewolf precariously strutting toward her. He tensed. He was about to grab her and run, but too many of the humans here knew him as a dark kind of person, and would probably report his action to the police saying it was some kind of kidnapping. Flying was out of the question. Humans today didn’t believe in things with wings unless they were birds. And his were bright red.
He was too late anyway. She froze feeling the Lupine’s presence, then turned around rather startled. Lost my chance, dang it. Well, I can forget her. It’s time for me to go and eat anyway.
“She obviously can’t tell that guy is a Wolf,” he said to the idiot next to him.
“And she doesn’t even realize the only thing on that guy’s mind is her bod. He’ll just use her and drop her like a rock,” he told the man. He sighed, took the chick next to him under his arm, and stood up with his eyes shining at the girl.
“I’d never do that to you, babe,” he told her as she took his hand. “I wouldn’t ever buy you dinner then go terrorize you.” Well, actually, that’s exactly what I’m doing, but that’s beside the point, he thought hungrily.
He walked the girl out the door, took control of her mind and led her down the street a couple of blocks. He led her into a small dark alley. The alley was the entrance to his haven, his resting place if he stayed out too long feasting.
He took her to the very back of the alley then picked up the girl whispering to her mind of happy things. He silently looked up at the top of a wall of bricks that was approximately twenty feet high.
“Close your eyes, my darling.” He spoke softly to keep from being heard. Then with a slight rustle of feather on brick, he flew them over the wall, through a large skylight, and into an undiscovered apartment. She gasped when they took off and when they landed quickly on the other side. He released her mind from his hold. She looked around, then at him a look in her eyes questioning him.
Livyra Howler
“Uh… Where are we? How did we get here?” Livyra paused to study what she hoped was a regular man before her. He had an immensely amused look on his face. It was icily unnerving.
This is what you get for walking down to Huck Finn’s at night while your car got washed. You should’ve just done it yourself, she thought to herself unsure whether or not to trust the being she stood just a three feet from.
She took in the room at a glance.
“Why have you taken me here?” She demanded.
“Why, my dear, I brought you here for dinner,” he told her smoothly.
“We’ve already had dinner. I know that much, but that still doesn’t answer my other questions,” she retorted.
“Oh, all right, if you must insist on being so demanding. We are in my apartment. We walked here, but you were so drunk that you fell down unconscious. I carried you here. It wasn’t too far so don’t worry yourself.” She looked away. Her cheeks began to turn the lightest shade of pink.
“Oh, don’t be embarrassed, Livyra. I’ve passed out like that before, too. As for why I‘ve brought you here, you’re about to find out.” As he spoke, he walked seductively up to her, placed his hands on her small shoulders, and took control of her mind again.
“Tilt your head a little, my darling.” She complied, helpless to resist his velvet voice that promised her later pleasure. She felt a slight prick in the side of her neck, and then felt him drink. It was most pleasant. She almost believed the promise in his voice. Still he drank and drank, almost drank her dry. She began to fall into a beautiful abyss…
Tom Zicoff
He let her go, sat her on the sofa, and gave her some juice and a fresh plate of pie. The piece of pie and glass of juice had automatically materialized inside his bewitched refrigerator when he opened it. It was bewitched in such a way that made the magick appear normal.
I really need to use my senses to their fullest potential. This Livyra is a Lupine, a Werewolf. I should’ve known it on sight, so why didn’t I? Tom thought to himself as he handed the bewildered girl her plate and the glass of orange liquid. She tasted quite good, though.
“Eat, my little Lupine. I thought you were just another human, but now I know you taste too good to be another Kine. Eat, then you will not remember me, this place, how you got here, or anything that happened from the time we met.”
She did as she was told, and fell asleep.
“Looks like it’s time to return you to your home, little pup. Sweet dreams.” He picked her up again, then spread his fierce red wings and took off toward the dingy apartment her mind said was home. Poor thing, he thought sadly. You can’t even afford decent living quarters.
Dayton Cabard
“You know, since I’m out here anyways, I might as well follow my nose to see about that new scent of the long undead,” Dayton said to himself. “There aren’t any chores at the farm that they can’t get done without me.”
He was driving down the road toward whatever had the strong scent of Vampyre, talking to himself.
Goes to show how boring my life is, he thought wryly.
He already knew quite well the few elderly Vampyres around here. To be a wolf, you have to stand a Vampyre attack. He’d survived twenty-five vamps, as the local werewolves called them, at one time. This scent didn’t belong to one of them, though. It was new. By the way it was carelessly strewn around town, his best guess was a female that just moved in and didn’t know many other Vampyres were here.
She probably doesn’t even know Werewolves exist, Dayton thought in silence.
“Hmmm…maybe she could be dinner... No! You can’t do that. You can track them, you can hunt them, and you can kill them all you want, Dayton Cabard, but you can never eat them. It’s against Wolf Code and you know that.” He frowned at the car in front of him as he spoke.
“But what if I don’t want to kill her? What if she’s like that harmless Shiara McKay I tracked a few months ago? She was just doing what she had to in order to survive, and didn’t just kill because she felt like it. Maybe if this one is like that one, I can protect her from less caring wolves in the area. Perhaps she wont be a killer either.”
He came back to himself realizing he had parked in front of a place called Huck Finn‘s Tavern.
What kind of Vampyre hangs here? He stayed put to ponder the question. The kind who wants to feed off some drunk who won’t remember a thing. A Lush.
Dayton turned off his old blue Chevy pick-up, cracked a window to keep from over heating his monster of a car, and was hit with the strong scent of a Vampyre he had known lived around this place, but could never find. This was a male.
“What about the new chick?” He complained, annoyed at himself. He decided that it didn’t really matter. He didn’t feel like messing with a male Vampyre right now.
What I feel is a hunger pang in the pit of my stomach, he thought. It’s dinner time anyway, so I might as well at least take the opportunity to catch a glimpse of that elusive Lush and grab some food all at once.
“Before I eat, I’ll wait for a while, see if that new Vampyre chick shows up. I can’t be too far off if my senses led me here.” He got out of the truck and walked swiftly up the sidewalk and into the bar.
“Let’s see…I guess I’ll just have a cold one.” He told the bartender after seating himself on a secluded bar stool.
I’ll wait for fifteen minutes, and if she doesn’t show by then, I’ll just order some food, he thought drowsily. Man, I need to find a way to get more sleep. If that chick shows up, she’ll probably think I look like total crap and not think twice about being lured into dinner by an over-worked Werewolf. Okay, so maybe I’m not over-worked, but I am still really tired. He looked around for a mirror, but found none. Usually the bars he went to had at least one wall of mirrors. So that’s why the Vampyre favors this place. They don’t have any mirrors to expose him.
Much to Dayton’s delight, he only had to wait for five minutes for the new Vampyre to show up. At first, he couldn’t tell if she was a goth or a Vampyre, but either way it went in his mind, she was way hot.
Then his senses kicked him and started screaming in his head, Vampyre! Vampyre! Vampyre! He hit himself on the forehead, could’ve-had-a-V8 style.
That’s the new Vampyre! Go get her. Ask her out, anything. Just talk to her! See if she needs to be destroyed. So, he went stealthily up to her, and waited for her to notice him.
He enjoyed the nice way her muscles tensed when she turned to face him.
Geez, she must think I’m a freaking giant. Sometimes I forget how tall I am. Before he could get any farther into his thoughts, she smiled at him, apparently oblivious to his nature.
He smiled back down at her. She doesn’t know what I am. This is good. It should make things a heck of a lot easier.
She and Dayton conversed and flirted a little before finally getting settled for their meal. He hadn’t learned much other than the fact that Miss Layla Madison was new in town, she hadn’t fed yet, and she knew what she was doing when it came to finding herself someone to eat. As they ate, Dayton noticed she took great care to eat at least two thirds of her food before saying she was full.
Or maybe she’s just planting that in everyone’s head, he thought to himself.
He glanced over at her to make sure he wasn’t kidding himself about this whole ordeal. Yes sir, he really was enjoying a meal with a Vampyre. His sworn enemy from the moment of the Change, and he felt like he was on some forbidden date.
Man, she is really trying to appear normal. She even began to ramble at me as though she was attracted to me. He breathed a sigh of contentment at this thought, then caught himself.
Whoa, wait. What? She rambled as though she was attracted me? Good Lord, I have got to stop thinking! I think I almost like the idea of this hot little Vampyre feeling attracted to me. That is so wrong. Only the Lord knows how old she is, and I thought I had a limit of only two years older. For all I know, she could be two-thousand years old!
He was jogged out of his thoughts at the feeling of her staring at him out of the corner of her eye.
“Are you okay?” She asked as she sipped her red wine. “You kind of spaced out there. Is anything wrong?” She paused, appearing uncomfortable. “You were staring at me.”
“Was I?” He replied lamely. “I’m sorry. I guess I was just lost in the beauty of you and couldn’t help thinking how nice you would look in bed.” Whoa! Stupid answer! How crude and repulsing can you be? No girl has made you say something like that in like three years, he screamed at himself inside his head. How na├»ve can you sound?
“Were you?” She replied to his stupidity with calm and a slightly seductive smile.
She’s toying with me. Crap. I just gave her the impression that I’m a total sucker of a pervert. Now I’ll never have a real chance with her. He paused his thoughts. Not that I want a real chance with her. Do I?
“Yeah, I was.” He felt like a fourteen year old again. Evidently so did she, because she continued talking in that same mind frame.
“And what gave you the idea that I would look nice in bed?” She faced him now, with a look on her face that was supposed to project to him that she wouldn’t mind being in bed with him.
She knows the minds of men quite well. If it weren’t for the fact that we were of opposing natures, I would enjoy getting to know her better.
“Oh, nothing really. Just letting my mind wander to places it likely shouldn’t after only having just met you.” He said to try to regain some status as something other than a pervert. Why didn’t he want to scare her off? Her hanging around with him could lead to two really bad things. Lots of blood loss on his part or another dead Vampyre sitting on his conscience. He hated to kill. Even when they were the enemy, he still felt really bad about murdering another creature. Another half-human, a small voice whispered to him.
“Perhaps you could you tell me more about these places your mind is running to on a walk. My place isn’t far from here.” She looked at him, inviting him with her eyes and well-toned body.
He almost told her “Sure, I’d love to,” but his senses kicked him and screamed Get out of there! She plans to eat you, you idiot. She’s tiny, but deadly; remember that.
With this thought in mind he answered, “I’m sorry to say that I don’t have the time. I must be going; maybe some other time.” He winked and whispered in her ear, “How about Friday night? My place.”
But right now is so much of a better time for me, he heard her say in his mind. Besides, you know you want to come and see if I look as good as you were fantasizing. He felt himself slipping into her grasp and struggled to pull himself free. He failed miserably. Besides, he had started thinking she would look pretty hot in a bed.
“Alright, let’s go,” he heard himself say.
She smiled in triumph and quickly led him by the mind out of Huck Finn’s, into her car, and off to an old building ten minutes away.
“Come inside with me sweety, then I can prove to you that I look greater than you could imagine.” He saw her fangs lengthen eagerly but could do nothing to protest. Her hold on him was too strong.
Dayton followed Layla into the building, into a room on the third floor out of the five that made up the building, and sat down on the bed at Layla’s command.
“Would you mind tilting your head? It makes this easier for me, sweetheart” She asked casually.
Apparently she’s used to this. He tried to remember why he was so worried about being alone with her and decided it was because she’d told him she would sleep with him. Just nerves. He’d been raised as a Mormon and hadn’t slept with anyone outside of marriage, ever, though he knew what to do. This almost total stranger would be his first. A giddy shiver ran down his spine.
“I’ll sleep with you and do anything else you want right after this, okay?” She said in answer to his thoughts. All he knew after that was that she was kissing him, coaxing him to her, slowly working her way to his neck. She stopped at the large artery in the side of his neck… then turned away, her lips curling back to expose her white fangs in disgust.

Fangs: Mine or Yours?: Chapter 1

Chapter 1
“Hey Layla, wanna come over this weekend? I’m having a sleepover,” said my old human buddy Brittany. “It’s starts at six O’clock on Friday and is over Saturday at 10 A.M.”
“I’d love to,” I began, “but my mom grounded me on Sunday for forgetting to feed the cats last weekend. She said I can’t go anywhere for two weeks.” I was lying and I knew it. Apparently so did Brittany.
“I thought you were allergic to cats? At least that’s what Kim told Sarah you told her,” she remarked bluntly, obviously not believing much of my story. “What are you backing out for? You used to always come to all my sleepovers. Why the sudden stop? Jack told Terri who told Lisa who told me said that you weren’t coming over because you were out eating people.” She stopped, looking like she was afraid to go on should something in her little mind be correct. “Tell me the rumors aren’t true,” she begged.
“Wh-what r-r-rumors?” I stuttered, trying to conceal my sudden terror. What had they started saying?, I thought helplessly. They couldn’t know that I was a Vampyre at the age of seven! Our old self-defense professor had Embraced me, or had mad me Vampyre, three years ago, but they didn’t know that.
Brittany continued, “Tons of kids are saying you’re a vampire. I mean, I know magic is real, look at our school, but lately a lot of people who’ve been on our ‘Evil List’ are waking up with bite marks on their necks. Everybody is saying it’s a vampire. Most of those bitten kids, like Marshall and Eva, may the Lady and Lord curse them both, are saying it’s you.” She paused nervously. “I don’t want to believe it, but I have to know. We’ve been best friends since first year, so please tell me the truth. Are you the vampire that’s been biting all those kids, Layla?” She stopped so I could answer, but all I could do was scream, turn, and run.
I let loose the inner worries I had been so desperately hiding, the things I had been trying to keep under wraps for two straight years, and ran at a hundred miles an hour. All I heard behind me was the screams of my terrified fellow witches and wizards. Brittany was yelling: “Oh, my gosh! She really is a… a…a vampire. Somebody call the Wizard‘s Office! Layla’s a Vampyre! She’s getting away! Somebody help!”
I made a wide turn at the end of our stadium-sized meadow and took off. I raced into the sky like a rocket into space, spreading my small black wings as wide as I could to gain more speed. I was flying low over the tops of my enemies, my friends, a few horrified professors, the beautiful black and red dueling grounds that sported our school emblem of a witch and wizard facing off.
Finally, I swooped over Brittany who screamed a shrill, high-pitched wail that would’ve deafened any nearby magical creatures. I grimaced as I tried to land near her.
I had planned to say, “I’m so sorry! I never meant to really hurt them, I just wanted to get back at them for tormenting me. All I had really meant was to give them the frights they always gave us,” but Brittany just ran and continued to scream. Her face started turning a reddish purple color. Just then, one of the school’s many unicorn riding trainers came at me with his wand drawn.
He threw a curse at me and yelled, “I knew there was something wrong with this one! She’s a demon come to kill us. Everybody inside! I’ll take care of this monster.” Just then, he threw another curse at me, with what appeared to be all his power, as I did a flip and began to fly with my wings outstretched as far as they could go, zooming off toward the big forest on the east side of the castle that served as our school.
I awoke with a start to the setting of the sun.
Ouch! Accursed streetlamp, I thought covering my head with my multitude of pitch black blankets. I sighed. It was only a dream. A dream of the night I had run away from a real-life “Hogwarts School of Magic” six-hundred-and-two years ago after being discovered by my fellow students.
I reached carefully out from under my covers to feel around my bedside table groggily for my extra-tint sunglasses. I need to put up a really thick black curtain or two, I reminded myself for the fifth time this week.
“Yea for me. I have to get up and go out in the light again this evening,” I muttered to myself.
I paused, attempting to see if there was anything specific I needed to do. My stomach rumbled at me and I felt the Hunger rise inside me, gnawing at my side.
Now I remember. I need to check out the local bars and see what the scene is like. Once that’s done, I can go find someone to chow down on.
I felt the Beast threatening to have me eat a neighbor or two.
Okay, maybe I could just go right now, pick an early-niter, and eat. Late-niters may taste better, but I was hungry now and needed food A.S.A.P. Having found my black, extra-tint sunglasses and shoving them on, I lazily slithered out of bed and headed for my closet.
“Okay,” I said to myself as I entered the master closet in my three bedroom, two bath apartment.
“What am I wearing tonight? This is Idaho, so I guess maybe I should stick with something attractive but casual. After a couple nights, I should know what works best for these people.”
I went to the back of my closet and took out a cute plain black tank-top that showed just enough to draw a guy’s attention, my dark blue, second-skin, flare jeans; my fishnet stockings, and a pair sexy black stilettos.
Perfect, I thought as I headed to my shower, my silky red night gown swirling about my ankles as I went.
My apartment isn’t that big. It has three main rooms, a custom master-bath, two extra rooms that are supposed to be used to house my guests, a kitchen that I never use, and a guest bathroom. The three main rooms were my living room, the first room you see when you enter my apartment; the kitchen, one of three rooms that break off from the living room, and the master bedroom.
To the left of the kitchen entryway, directly across from my front door, is my larger guest room, complete with elegant brown wood furniture and deep, succulent purple fabrics for theme colors. To the right of the kitchen entryway is the second smallest room in the place, my second guest room. My second guest room also is made up of dark wood furniture, but the theme fabric colors are deep reds instead of purple. The smallest room would be the guest bathroom.
In the kitchen you will find three doorways you can choose from. One of them is the one that leads back into the living room. Another one is the one that leads into the guest bathroom. The last one is the one that leads into my room, the master bedroom.
The master is a decently large room. It’s twenty feet long, eighteen feet wide, and thirteen feet tall. In it is a large king-size bed made of an exceedingly expensive selection of dark oak--all the wood used for the bed came from the same tree. The bed is draped in thick black sheets, a comforter of the same color, and simple, but chic blood red throw pillows.
Also in the bedroom are two matching bedside tables, one on each side of the bed, and there are four black candles with which I light my room. There is a candle in each corner of the room on two-foot-tall black stands that I only light when I need to read something or see if two items of black material match or are rather tacky-looking when worn together. The only other lighting for the moment is a window that I needed to find some nice, thick curtains for. Too much street light got in during the night for me to have my normal waking comforts in absolute darkness.
The window was to the right of my bathroom door. The only other items I have in my bedroom are my seven-by-eight-by-ten walk-in closet and my small dark oak desk. Yes, it’s from the same tree as my other furniture.
My closet is just to the right of my door, opposite the window. To one side of my bathroom doorway, I have a laptop I use for searching around for prime locations sitting atop my desk. Black, of course. One needs to be able to know which places to go for some select choices of late-niter blood, doesn’t she?
On the far wall of my bedroom, when you walk in, is the red-painted door to the master bath. My bathroom has no windows, a huge red tub, a tall and slender black shower, a black sink, a red-bordered picture of myself sixty-three years ago, no mirrors, and a black toilet. The toilet is tucked away in a walled off corner of the room, but only three-steps distance from the simple sink. Directly across from it, in the left-hand corner of the room, is the shower. It has a clear door that faces the toilet, and the tub is to the left of that door.
When you walk into my bathroom, my second closet is to the left of the door, and the tub is to the right. My bathroom, compared to my bedroom is puny, but I liked it that way. When I had first started moving in, I told the people redoing my bathroom I would need a second closet installed in here because the one in my bedroom couldn’t fit my dresses as well as all my other clothes. A slight downside to this otherwise beautiful apartment. It hadn’t bothered me much, and the cost of the installation was quite reasonable for someone with around sixty-nine years worth of cash acquiring to her name.
I quickly dressed my willowy self, then applied my make-up with equal speed and asked myself, “Should I head to Huck Finn’s, or should I go to the Four E Bar?”
I thought for a moment. Looking at a map of the local area, I decided on Huck Finn’s Tavern. It was closer and I wasn’t sure how long I could last without just going downstairs and eating one of my rather annoying neighbors.
Hurriedly, I scurried out my front door, down the flight of 82 stairs, and outside into the bright streetlamp light awaiting me. I grimaced at the intensity of it.
“Man, for a place out in the middle of nowhere, there sure are a lot of bright lights. This is worse than my home town at Christmas,” I muttered under my breath as a tall, blonde female, lathered in bright neon pink clothing, one of my fellow apartment owners, exited our building. Upon seeing her, I straightened up a little, smiled politely in her direction, turned sharply to the left, and began walking toward our little parking lot.
It isn’t hard to find my car in this place. It’s the only black truck with windows so tinted, that even if you pressed your face against the window, you couldn’t see into it. Humans, as pathetically simple as they are, just don’t seem to understand the simplicity of that which is one-way windows. And they invented it the last time I checked.
“Hello, baby,” I smiled at my shiny car. I had left it in the lot six days ago after looking around for a night, and hadn’t touched it since. Still not a speck of dust had landed on its gorgeously finished exterior. You know, I think the Vampyre who I bought this car from must have had a witch put some cleaning spell on it to keep it from getting dusty or dirty. I had once spilled a painted black water bottle of type A-positive blood while traveling on the seat and the stain had only lasted for two hours and then was gone as if it had never been there at all. It wasn’t the only time something like that happened, but that had been a whole bottle of it.
Driving to Huck Finn’s doesn’t take too long, but by the time I got there, I was starving for some nice warm blood, fresh Life, straight from the body of some stupid soul. I couldn’t wait to get inside, when I felt a twisting pain in my neck.
What the heck! I haven’t had this feeling since I moved here and drove around town that first day, I thought, now cautiously trying to decide whether or not to go inside. My stomach growled at me again as I felt the Hunger rising and, against my better judgment, I forced my legs to walk in the doors of the bar.
The moment I was through those doors, the pain got worse. I had to use a good deal of my inner strength not to let my face twist in pain. I smiled, hopefully convincingly, at a guy who was looking curiously in my direction. He started at my smile then looked away. I thought about walking over to him, then realized that upon seeing him, my neck had stopped hurting.
Holy crap! I screamed inside my head. He’s a Vampyre! Is that why my neck was twisting tonight? If so, then I should probably find out if he’s someone worth talking to about food preferences for this crazy, colorful state. Or if he’s from another House. That could be dangerous…
My stomach began growling obnoxiously at me.
“Food first,” I muttered to myself, blushing as I was greeted by several staring men. I smiled sheepishly, to let them think I wasn’t too sure of myself; easy prey for a pig like some of the men I was seeing in here. Suddenly, I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and instantly was face to face with the tallest man I had ever seen.
I stared in slight shock for a second before pulling myself together and smiling politely.
I asked, “Hello. Do I know you? I’m kind of new in town and I’ve only met a couple of people, but I‘m terrible with remembering names and such.” I paused waiting for a reply, but he just smiled at me like he knew something I didn’t. The idea annoyed me.
He didn’t answer so I just continued rather curiously, “Would you like something to eat? I’ll buy,” I offered. At this, the man’s smile softened with genuine curiosity.
“Hey. My name is Dayton Cabard,” he told me as he extended his hand to shake mine. “I would love to join you for something, but I’ll buy. What kind of jerk makes a lady pay for her food?”
Being the independent, self-reliant woman that I am, I answered him tactfully, “I’m Layla Madison. The answer to your question, sir, is one who doesn’t mind a woman who enjoys her independence.”
“Interesting answer, but that really doesn’t tell me much about you other than your name and the fact that you’re single.” His smile widened slightly.
What is this guy thinking? I asked myself. He seems…different. Not like gay or crazy different, just…different.
I can read minds. It’s a talent lots of other Vampyres I’ve met have so it’s nothing special, but I was uncannily good at it. I just don’t like to use it much. Besides, some humans take it badly and start screaming, so I couldn’t use it on this man in public. Limitations and precautions really suck sometimes.
I almost wanted to say “You know, you remind me of a little dog I had some hundred odd years ago.” But that would be rude and could cost me my waking meal, I reminded myself quickly.
So as not to keep him waiting, I answered, “Then why don’t we discuss that matter over some burgers and fries?” I tried to let him think about this for a moment, but my stomach growled at me again.
I blushed and said stupidly, “Sorry, I haven’t eaten at all today. I’m not anorexic or anything, I just got up really late and was too busy for food.” What in the world? I haven’t said something that stupid to a guy in almost a hundred and some odd years! Yet, this guy is a complete stranger and he’s already turning my mind to mush. This cannot be good. But he’s food, so I might as well ignore it. Besides, he’s hot.
“That’s alright,” He chuckled at my slight embarrassment, “I got up really early and couldn’t find anything worth eating in the kitchen, and since then I haven’t had time to eat either, so I’m starving too.” He grinned down at me in a way that almost could be labeled… I searched for the proper term in my mind. Toothily?
I smiled back up at him. “Great. So why don’t we go take a seat at the bar and order some chow?” I already knew what he was going to say, so I continued, “I’m still paying.” He chuckled at me again, but nodded his agreement.
“As long as I get to pay for the fries,” he countered. I agreed to the compromise, then paused to look around for the Vampyre I had seen earlier, but he was nowhere to be found in the place.
“Where’d he go?” I wondered aloud.
“Where’d who go?” Dayton asked, looking over his shoulder as he headed for his seat at the bar.
I looked at the booth I had seen him sitting at and noticed the drunk chick he had been sitting next to was gone as well.
Oh, I get it. You were just here picking up some dinner, too. Well, in that case, happy feeding.
“Oh, no one. I just thought I’d seen someone I knew, but they left. Now are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to eat?”

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Fangs: Mine or Yours? (Prologue)

Goody, I thought with grim sarcasm.
A new evening, a new town, a new place to saturate my Hunger.
It’s my first day in Caldwell, Idaho, and all of my new neighbors have already decided that the new girl on the block in complete goth-garb is not the girl they want to converse with. Which is perfectly fine with me. I don’t want to talk to them either; they’d just crimp my style. Layla Madison is a Vampyre chick with a reputation to keep up!
I look seventeen and I am five-foot-four. With gold-blonde hair down to the middle of my back, deep red lipstick, dark eye shadow, and a look on my pale face that hides the dark evils within myself; I knew I would be left perfectly alone by my neighbors, but not by the other hot bisexual women and the handsome men around this town. Finding dinner would be a breeze once I had a feel for this place and it’s people.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Update #5!

Hey Guys,
Okay, you can ignore update #4 now. Things are settling down again and I've pretty much finished dealing with those issues. I am having other non-love-life-related issues, though.
I can't think of anything more to write in either of my books. I've hit some serious road blocks before but not one like this. No matter what I do I can't think of anything to add to them and everything I've tried has turned into a mess. Do you think you could help? I'll post what crappy bits of my first book I have on here so you can see what I've got. Trust me, I know it sucks. I still have lots of editing to do, so don't make any really mean comments about my needing to edit. I already know.
Anywho, once I have it up, please send in some ideas as to what I can do with the plot. I can't stand that I'm not getting anywhere, so any ideas you have are accepted. (No matter how corny. Sometimes a little corny is good.) Thanks so much you guys! I love you all!

Yours Truly,

P.S. Here's my e-mail for those of you that don't have it: cali_in_idaho at Just send your ideas or poem requests to that e-mail and I'll answer as soon as I can. Thanks again!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Update #4! (Help?)

Hey guys,
I'm confused. I'm relaxing a bit, but I'm confused and unsure. I'm dating a guy, but before he asked me out, I was "friends with benefits(fwb)" with another guy I know. The guy I'm dating just asked me out yesterday, but I haven't told my fwb that I have a boyfriend yet; I dont know how to tell him. What should I do? I want to give my new bf a chance at me cuz he's an old friend and I can really be myself with him, but I don't want to hurt my fwb. The only thing I can think of right now is praying to get some answers. It's my best and only idea so far, so I'm going to go with that. I'm sure He will give me something to do to keep me from totally killing myself with questions and mixed desires. I'm going to go pray and listen to some mind-clearing music for a while. If you have anysuggestions as to what I should do, just comment this or e-mail me. You can find my email in past updates. Talk to you all when I'm feeling a bit more stable again.

Yours Truly,

P.S. I'm putting my books on hold for a while until this whole thing clears up a bit. Once I can think straight again, I'll let you all know and get right back to work on those novels okay?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I'm all alone.
There's no one left.
No one who would understand,
No one who would love me like you did.
I can't feel anything but this numbness.
I see nothing but blackness.
I hear nothing but a deafeningly lonely silence.
I can't taste anything.
Not like I have anything to taste in this abyss.
What is left for me?
I'm so lost and... empty.
I don't know how long I'll last
In this feeling of nothingness.
Maybe I'll just stay here.
I could do that.
I could do that and die here.
I could die like this all alone in this utter blackness.
It's not so bad really.
And it wouldn't be hard.
I could just stop.
Stop moving.
Stop breathing.
Stop being.
Stop noticing how terrifyingly alone I've become.
I could try to find a reason
To keep from doing that.
Maybe then the light will come back.
But there isn't anyone left for me.
The only ones who mattered are gone.
I guess I'll just leave.
Just like they did.
Goodbye black abyss.
Goodbye Hell.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Update #3!

Hey guys!
Alrighty, in my last update, I told I dropped one book and started another one, correct? Well, I've changed my mind once again. I'm going to continue with my old book. *cheers* However, I will continue to work on the more recent book as well. So far, I've gotten some stuff done, but I'm mostly editing what I already have.
I'm going to be adding some new poetry to my blog, so keep an eye out for anything you like and leave comments! If you have any requests, just e-mail me at: cali_in_idaho at Okay? If you would like to read a bit of my book so far (to be honest, it still needs a lot of work, but it's starting to get there) just let me know and I'll send you what you want.
Well, I have some stuff to do today, so I'll talk to you all later!

Yours Truly,

You Know

The silence is my comfort. The darkness is my hiding place.
The blood that flows from these wounds drowns me slowly.
The water that is intermixing with the blood around me is from my tears.
I broke my vow. I've done it now. The lights are turning on.
I'm found in my hell, all comfort stolen by your questions.
I can't bear to have you look at me. There's so much I didn't want you to see.
I give you answers, vague as they may be, and cower inside myself.
Where is my eternity?!
My life will hold no purpose now... I've broken a very important vow...
You look at me with such disgust.
I say, "I'm sorry, I'd just never known such lust!"
I look down and you leave. I'm unable to move.
I can't hear anything, nor see, nor feel.
You know of my treacheries, of my broken vow.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Twice(Inspired by Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian)

To return to repeat is a fool's errand.
Nothing happens the same way twice.
To hear that one sees wilst you do not is not unheard of,
But nothing happens the same way twice.
To put lives at risk when it is unneccessary is just about as stupid as it gets.
Nothing happens the same way twice!
To understand what your future will hold, you must know:
Nothing happens the same way twice.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


The void in my chest it throbs so painfully.
It steals my breath and brings me to my knees.
The throbbing grows more painful each day.
I no longer breathe, I just lie here on the ground.
I dare not move for fear of the creature that has taken what I'm missing.
It lies in wait, hoping to see what it can take from me next.
It has stolen what I'm missing, but is still after my soul.
I don't know what this creature is, with it's red horns on it's head
And it's tail swishing impatiently from side to side.
This creature has stolen from many people who feel my suffering.
It has taken limbs, and organs, and many many souls.
But it cannot find a soul to fill it's own spiritual void.
The poor monster cannot find it's soul,
So it steals the souls of others to try and replace it.
It's body is complete, though in need of some repair,
But he lacks a spiritual essence of goodness.
The poor monster scares me, but he is just like me.
All he wants is God and acceptance. I cannot blame him for what he does.
For if you were in his position, would you not do the same?

Update #2!

Hey everybody!
Okay, so I wasn't liking at all how my last attempt at a bookwas going out so I ditched all 22 pages that I'd written and started on a new book. I'm on page 11, almost to 12. This one is also about a vampire. She's a isexual teenage vampire who's entering her sophomore year in highschool. (She was turned when she was 4.) Her name is Tala Rozene Gola which is some indian language meaning Wolf Rose Winter. SHe and her best friend Kellie Skoglund, a bisexual werewolf, start the story at practice when something strange comes flying over the field. It doesn't bother any of the students, but a few days later it returns with a friend and kidnaps both Kellie's new girlfriend Irene, and Tala's boyfriend Jacob also known as Jake. (Irene is on teh auxilary team with Kellie and Tala, Jake plays the trombone in the marching band.) From there they embark on a long and treacherous journey filled with dark encounters and danger. I haven't figured out quite yet exactly what will happen, but I'm getting there. I'm kind of planning as I type this here. So yeah, I no longer need any sites to look at for information on vampires or werewolves. I'm just doing my own thing and making up my own version of each myth. If you would like to submit any ideas or want to read a little of this new book, e-mail me at: cali_in_idaho at Or look for me on youtube as I usually there trying to find music to listen to while I type. On youtube, look for prettygirl9784. just message me or watch a vid I created. It's the only one I have and I know it sucks, but oh well. Anyway, look me up and let me know what you're thinking. Thanks a bunch guys!

Yours Truly,

P.S. Also, before I forget, if you have a specific type of poem you want me to make for you, just e-mail me or message me. I take requests from everybody. Free of charge! lol! But yeah, just let me know and I'll get right on it. TTYL!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Why Bother?

Who will listen to my questions?
Who will come up with the answers?
Who on this planet really would care
Whether or not I was here?
Nobody has anytime to listen,
So nobody has any answers.
I know only a few who really would care,
So tell me why I even bother.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

If He Were Here...

If he were here
He'd tell me I was beautiful.
He'd say he'd never met anyone
As pretty as me.
If he were here
He'd tell me I was his queen of darkness;
His lady of the night.
He'd pick me up, spin me around,
Kiss me 'til I cried.
He'd love me and hold me until the morning light
When the sun came up
And I sadly fled for the night.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Do You Remember?

What am I supposed to do now that you're gone?
I told you to give her a chance and move on.
And you did as I said. Every last thing.
You left me behind in your memories.
You brought her into your life.
Now she's all that you know.

But I find myself wondering,
Do you ever remember our first kiss?
Do you remember all those nights
We stayed up on the phone?
Do you ever think of me at all?
The way we used to laugh?
Those times in the hall?

I know I remember, and I always will.
Your place in my heart, no other can fill.
Please think of me. Please don't forget.
I wish we could have more of those times
Though we've come across no such chances yet.
I love you, I miss you. Please do not forget me.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Hey everybody! Sorry I haven't been keeping up on all my posting and such but I have been super busy. You see, I'm writing a book and I'm just starting to really get into the research part that is required to write my book properly.
My book is about three main Vampyres and two main Werewolves. Yes, I know, it's fantasy fiction and all that stuff, but this isn't gping to be the average Vampyre vs. Werewolf tale. I'm not going to say anything more so you'll just have to wait and see. I won't be able to postit on here unless I do it by chapter or possibly even page. I don't know how much I can fit into one post so we'll see.
Anyway, the Five main characters are Layla Madison, Dayton Cabard, Tom Zicoff, Shiara McKay, and Livyra Howler. The three Vampyres are Layla (THE main character), Tom (second main male character), and Shiara (third main female character). The Werewolves would be, obviously, Livyra (second main female character) and Dayton (first main male character). They all end up connected to each other in a tale that is still unwinding itself inside my head. The plot changes as I get further into my research, so if you know of any good sites to read or ask about Vampy(i)res and/or Werewolves, please just contact me at: cali_in_idaho at Okay? Thanks a bunch! I'll try to keep posting even as I busy myself with my book. Contact me all you want!

Yours Truly,

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Even Demons

Oh, what am I to say?
Oh, what am I to do?
Lord, I am a demon,But I run to you.
I want to be human!
I want to be whole!
Come into my life:
Purify my soul.
I am undeserving.
I know I am,
But still I ask:
“Lord, what can I do
To be forgiven my past?”

Too Late

I’m wondering.
I’m waiting.
I don’t know where to start.
I want to tell you oh, so much;
All of it from my heart.

But nae for thou art leaving.
Thou hath no time to spare.
You kiss her pale lips
And wish us both a fond farewell.

I’d hoped to say I love thee.
That thou hath won my heart.
But for now and for eternity,
Thou hath had to go and part.

Thine heart’s forever beating.
I hear it in my head.
That woeful sound repeating
Inside the heart I mend.


Who am I to live and thrive?
What have I done to deserve a happy life?
I have lied and I have cheated.
I have walked upon His people.
I have cried and lied and run in hate,
But still I've yet to die.
Again I ask,
Who am I to live and thrive
While others surely lie
Waitng for an inevitable end to their lives?

Saturday, May 31, 2008


I have felt alone, afraid, and rejected.
I have faced death and torture.
I have lost many a person I held dear.
So through your pain
And through your sorrow,
Always know that God is near
And I'm always here.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Happiness (short version)

When I think of my happiness,
I think of you.
When I think of her happiness,
I think of you.
When I think of your happiness,
My mind isn't sure who's there.

Happiness (long version)

When I think of happiness,
I think of you.
Your smiling face.
Your quiet pace.
Your gentle touch
I miss so much.

When I think of happiness,
I think of her.
Her gleeful prance.
Her joyful trance.
Her riendly hugs
They drive me nuts.

When I think of happiness,
I think of you and I.
The times we shared.
The tears we cried.
Those moments so dear...
To have not had them is to have died.

When I think of happiness,
I think of you and her.
The times you'll share.
Thenights you'll cry.
The memories you'll gain.
Oh, how time will fly.

When I think of your happiness,
I wonder...
Is it she or I who's there?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The Death of Us

I’ve come across a lonely sea;
My back’s been to the wind.
I see thine eyes in front of me,
But I give not to thee my hand.
I hide inside my quarters.
A heartfelt pain I hide.
And a hope that should you find me,
You’ll listen to my cries.

Oh please, Love, understand me!
As saying this I die.
(For though my body keeps on living,
My soul to Heaven surely flies.)
Please believe that I still love you;
Please know you’re always on my mind.
But though my love is strong for you,
Our love, for now, must die.

You didn’t want to hear this.
I see the tears you cry.
I want to yell out “Never mind”,
But the breath in me has died.
You answer to me “Nay!
Of thee I shalt not take leave.”
But still I sadly shake my head
I say, “ You must if you truly love me.
Or all our hopes shall be dead.”
I stand and turn to walk away.
Your eyes, they follow me.

Suddenly I stop and turn.
I run into your arms.
I cry my tears
As I will for years,
For what it is to you I’ve done.
You tightly hold me to you;
You gently kiss my lips.
Then you go; you walk away
To take leave of a saddened ship.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A Lover's Declaration

Deeper than any ocean.
Wider than outer space.
Do you even understand
That every time you take my hand,
My heartbeat grows in pace,
My faith in you , with it?
Do you really know
That every time you go,
My heart is left in pieces?
Almost invisibly small pieces?
My head reels at the thought
That there could e'er be a day
When someone else could take you.
Take everything away.
Everything I have to live for;
Everything I need;
What crazy fool gave you the thought
That someday I'd up and leave?
My mind is ever spinning.
I'm losing all control.
Why do you have to question me?
Must you doubt this fragile soul?
I wish that you could see,
I wish that you could feel,
The tormenting pain inside
That I face with this ordeal.
You doubting sends me messages
More than you could know.
But to this I am still hoping
That someday you shall know,
That through the pain
And through the hurt,
And through the Devil's torture,
I'll always be here
Standing by you
To remind you that I love you.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Have You Ever...

Have you ever felt so weak
That you felt you couldn't breathe?
Have you ever felt so alone
That talking to people seemed wrong?
Have you ever fetlt pissed
That you could've tried to hit someone
And have missed?
You know, you don't have to feel this way.
God can take your pains away.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Smile Then Cry

I smile in the day.
I cry in the night.
I'm lost and unprotected
What happened to the light?
I miss all I knew;
I long for my past.
Though harsh and lonely it was,
I'd have liked for some moments to last.
I miss all that I knew.
I long for the place I called home.
Where are You, God?
Where am I to go?


Sing for the sun
Rising in the east,
Sing for the moon
Flying in the night,
Sing for the animals
Who frolic on the land,
Sing for the creatures
Who swim in the water,
Sing for the birds
Flying with the moon,
Sing for the people
of this world we know,
Sing for your enemies
Even though they may hate you so,
Sing for yourself
when you cry all alone,
But most of all sing for Christ
Who died for us all.

Saturday, March 22, 2008


The night is short;
The day is long.
My heart is sore;
My soul’s left numb.
My eyes are dry.
I cry no tears.
I’ll love him still
To the end of my years.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Poor Juliet

My Romeo.
He has the heart of a lion,
The strength of one, too.
But I fear for his safety-
He is not safe from me.
He does not understand that his Juliet
Is a creature of great monstrosity,
A being of the night.
A thing.
A thing that selfishly wants his life fource
To fixxate this painful need inside her tortured body.
He is unaware of the hurt she must endure
In order to satisfy his and her more human needs.......
They're more human wants...
But he must never know.
If he knew what his beloved Juliet must endure
He would remove the torture from her path.
Or even worse,
Willingly give her what her not so human side is longing for.........


I've always wondered
What it would be like to be Juliet.
To be beautiful and loved.
But now that I am in a situation like hers,
I am not so sure that I want to be Juliet anymore.
The life of Juliet is a painful one.
One filled with hatred,
Betrayal, hurt,
And love.
And especially towards the end,
Now I wonder,
What would have happened
If Juliet had just comitted suicide right there in the beginning?
What if Juliet had just said,
"I don't want to deal with this"?
Where would poor Romeo be if she had said that?
Pondering these questions
I find myself answering the questions I had as a child.
Life would be empty,
There would always be that nagging wonder of what ifs;
I would be a lonely girl
With a mind full of questions that no one could answer.
I would be a girl whose own heart would be made of stone,
Unfeeling as the tumultuous ocean from which I came
And have been cursed to return to.
I would be the Juliet of Shakespeares'
Complete opposite.

Friday, January 11, 2008

My Two Cents

You should know that life is hard;
It just gets harder as you go.
And there are times in life
Where you will have to face things on your own.
My life hasn’t been a fairytale.
Not even close to one.
I’ve had nights where I’ve cried,
And thought my soul had died,
Because someone was making fun.
My memory’s filled with tears and pain,
And though experience makes you stronger,
Reoccurrence haunts me all the time.
And there are days where I still wonder.
What would happen if it happened again?
Would I finally lose it then?
Would I be at the mercy of my dread?
The answers to these questions,
I hope I never know.
For there are things in my past
That can answer that,
But for others are hard to grasp.
Their minds just wont let them
Comprehend the horror of the facts.
So this is what I give.
This is my advice.
Take what you get,
Be glad with it,
And God will protect your heart.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Open Your Eyes

Have you ever noticed,
That when you wish the most
That you would die,
That God would just let you
Leave this world forever,
That you find a reason to keep living?
I know I have noticed.
But only just recently.
So open your eyes
And see all the little things
That you often just overlook
When they may be the most important.


Have you heard of this thing
That the mortals do?
They lay in our day,
Unaware that we do not do
As they wish we did.
I find it funny
That they do not know
That the greatest of terrors
Which we are,
Lurk closer than they
Would e’er find comfortable.
Not that it matters to us.
We just need that which they
So willingly offer in there sleep.


Sometimes I drink of a liquid
That tastes of copper,
And is warm to the touch.
It is red as the rose,
But of a deeper shade.
It tastes different
Depending on the source,
Yet is my most needed element
To live.
Now tell me,
What would you say
If I told you
I had taken this element from you,
Just not enough that it would
Kill you?
You probably wouldn’t believe it.
But say you were a good friend of mine,
And you sometimes drank of
This liquid too.
I bet you would believe me then.
Not that it would bother you,
Because you've done the same to me.

See, Know, Love, Die

We see what we see.
We know what we know.
We love what we love.
And this we do all before we die.

Monday, January 7, 2008

I Am...

All that I am, is all that I am.
Quiet, calm, sincere, and withdrawn.
Yet I am more than what is seen.
I am a poetic lover, a child of dreams,
Whose big eyes glow
At the new world my beloved night brings.
My knight of the night
Is the apple of my eye, the beholder of my being,
And my prince among thieves.
And still,
All that you see,
Is not
All that you may get.
For I have much to give to those who ask,
Who need, and who seek.
Those who ask, will be given the elaborate.
While those who need may be set aside the gentle.
And to those who seek,
Will be specified the great and enlightening.
Though I may appear solitary and delicate,
All that I am,
Isn’t all that I am.
Underneath a well made mask,
Hides a female of great complexity.
I am loud, untamed, strong, open.
I remain one who knows
When she needs to be heard,
Or cares to be focused upon.
One who is unbroken,
And true to her instincts.
Deadly and frightening,
Though they may occasionally be.
I am that which is strong.
My body itself may be of little muscle,
And physical strength,
But inwardly I have
The strength of many.
I am able to hold my own
When under emotional attack,
Or in a losing battle against a master
Of the tongue’s fiery arts.
Throughout my time I am open to all,
Though all may not be open to me.
I share my secrets willingly, and give the advice of experience
When sharing moments of past.
For all who wish to know meI paint the picture of my past before them, and help them to understand
That which is their own piece
Of past and present intermingling.
Though I may be strong and untamed,
I have fears of many.
My fears be
Of the spider that crawls ‘cross my floor in the eve,
Of loss of all that I hold close and dear,
Of doubt that causes my tears of dread.
If the spider I see,
I scream in terror.
If my loved one were to be lost to me forever,
I would surely die of fright,
Or drown in my tears.
Hard to explain are my fears of doubt.
For they belong not to reasons of my mind,
But to the reasons
Of my heart.
I am not one to ask for more than I need,
Nor one to be dissatisfied with what I may be given.
But alas, there be things that I do wish for.
To see the sun set o’er the sea deep
From the Californian shoreline;
To see a sparkle in my lover’s eye
As he vows his love for me;
To see the rise of the sun
For another day amongst my joys and fears, alike.
This is me.
This is all that I am.
Although I may not
Necessarily be only
What you see.
I am me.